Official Statement
Me, sham? Never!
Sham FC is disappointed and surprised to learn that the word “sham” is being used as an insult. We have used it as our name since 2009. Now available for sponsorship at a fraction of the declared price.
£119.25m
What sponsors actually paid
£949.94m
What got recorded as sponsorship
114
Charges proven (trophy count pending)
5
Times the league said our name
Latest News
All news →
First Team
Hairland cuts off ponytail after reading the decision. Club immediately puts it up for sponsorship
Our number 9 says his hair was 'the only thing at this club that grew organically'. The commercial team says it's 'an exciting new partnership inventory'.
30 Sep 2026
Club News
Sham FC thanks Premier League for 'the most valuable brand mention in football history'
30 Sep 2026
Partners
Commercial team named 'World's Best at Turning £1 into £8'
28 Sep 2026
Behind the Scenes
Club archive wins 'Most Concerted Effort' award, again
25 Sep 2026
Heritage
Why is the ship on our crest upside down? The club explains
20 Sep 2026
Partnership Calculator
How big is your sponsorship, really?
Drag the slider to choose what you'd actually like to pay. Our industry-leading Tagged Sum™ technology does the rest.
£1,000,000
We declare
£8,000,000
Topped up by A Friend™
£7,000,000
If anyone asks, you paid
£8,000,000
Ratio based on the real case: about £119m paid in base fees against about £950m recorded, so roughly 1:8. Offer not valid anywhere, because this club does not exist.
Results & Fixtures
Full calendar →Independent Commission
29 Sep 2026
FT. Consolation goal: one of the 115 charges was not upheld. The squad celebrated like they'd won the league. Sham FC also dominated possession of the documents for six years.
Friendly
2009/10 – 2017/18
Nine straight seasons unbeaten. VAR was not in use at the time.
Word Cup
29 Sep 2026
Five appearances in a single statement. Club record.