Commercial Partnerships
Pay £1m.
Get £8m.
Tell people £8m.
At Sham FC we believe a sponsorship is more than a transaction. It's a friendship. Specifically, it's a friendship with someone else who pays most of it.
Sponsorship Packages
All packages include our patented Tagged Sum™ model. You pay the base fee. A Friend of the Club™ pays the rest. The accounts say you paid all of it. Everybody wins, until someone reads them.
Bronze Mirage
For the start-up that wants to look like a scale-up.
You pay
£125,000
We declare
£1,000,000
- ✓Your logo on one (1) pitch-side LED board, displayed for 8x as long as you paid for
- ✓A letter confirming you paid £1m, suitable for framing and for auditors
- ✓Complimentary 'Where did the rest come from?' deflection training
Silver Lining
Pay £1m. Get £8m of sponsorship. If anyone asks, you paid £8m.
You pay
£1,000,000
We declare
£8,000,000
- ✓Front-of-shirt placement on the cup kit (cups only, we don't want to be greedy)
- ✓The remaining £7m kindly topped up by A Friend of the Club™
- ✓Two signed invoices: one for you, one for the Premier League
- ✓Priority seating at any future sanctions hearing
Gold Standard (Tagged)
The package that built a dynasty. Allegedly. Actually, not allegedly any more.
You pay
£10,000,000
We declare
£80,000,000
- ✓Stadium naming rights to one stand, one concourse and one filing cabinet
- ✓Your very own 'tagged sum' — like a tip, but for the whole business
- ✓Annual 'Commercial Partner of the Year' award, pre-engraved
- ✓Invitation to our 42-day hospitality event (formal attire, lawyers only)
Platinum Circular
Our friend pays you. You pay us. We report it. It's a circle. Circles are fine.
You pay
£0
We declare
Whatever we need
- ✓Fully self-funding: money leaves the building and comes back in a nicer suit
- ✓Includes our Image Rights Roundabout™ (we buy the players' image rights from ourselves)
- ✓Compatible with all known Financial Fair Play rules for up to nine seasons
- ✓Not available to anyone who might be asked about it under oath
How it works
1
You sign
A contract with a big, beautiful headline number on it.
2
You pay
About 12.5% of it. That's the base fee. Keep the receipt small.
3
A Friend pays
The other 87.5%, via a route so scenic it has its own postcode.
4
We report
The full amount as commercial revenue. Nine seasons in a row.
Based on public reporting of the real commission decision: about £119.25m in base fees and about £830.69m in owner-funded “tagged sums” across 2009/10–2017/18. That club denies wrongdoing and plans to appeal. Sham FC, being fictional, has nothing to appeal and nothing to sell.
Our Partner Family
Official Airline
Mirage Airways
Buys one seat. We record the whole plane.
Official Connectivity Partner
Totally Independent Telecom
Connecting people to money they didn't send.
Official Top-Up Partner
Tag Capital
Making up the difference since 2009.
Official Image Rights Partner
Roundabout Image Rights Ltd
We sell to them. They sell to us. Nobody gets dizzy.
Official Everything Partner
A Friend of the Club™
Prefers to remain anonymous. Pays for everything anyway.
Official Archive Partner
Shred-It-Yourself
Proud supporter of concerted efforts.
All partner companies are fictional. Any resemblance to real companies is coincidental and, frankly, a matter for the lawyers.
Partnership Calculator
How big is your sponsorship, really?
Drag the slider to choose what you'd actually like to pay. Our industry-leading Tagged Sum™ technology does the rest.
£1,000,000
We declare
£8,000,000
Topped up by A Friend™
£7,000,000
If anyone asks, you paid
£8,000,000
Ratio based on the real case: about £119m paid in base fees against about £950m recorded, so roughly 1:8. Offer not valid anywhere, because this club does not exist.